My AkuRoku writing promt
by kankuroadic
Summary: A writing promt. All deppresing stories of how Axel felt when Roxas left. Extremely sad. Much better then this sucky summery


_** My friend gave me a promt! First ever! Excited! Suzanne, I hope it's good enough for you! This all from Axel's POV. The g one is a little different! Not for the weak hearted.**_

_**Another...**_ Another night spent alone. Another day without him. Another ice-cream left to melt. Another tear rolling down my cheek.

_**Barrier... **_There is a barrier. I can't see past the barrier. I can't get past the barrier. I can only hear him on the other side of the barrier. He is across the barrier I can never break.

_**Candle... **_I see candle. Something is written on the side of the candle. Roxas is written on the candle. The candle is flickering. The candle is going to go out. I run at the candle. The candle is getting farther away. I can't reach the candle in time. The candle's flame will die. I speed my runnning to reach the candle in time. The candle's flame dies. Without the candle, I'm lost in darkness.

_**Death... **_I cannot experience death. I cannot reach death for I am not alive. I wish I could aquire death. Maybe I could see him in death.

_**Eyes...**_ His eyes locked onto the rainy street infront of him. My eyes were begging him not to walk. His eyes looked needy. His eyes told me that he wasn't going to listen. His eyes told me that he needed this. His eyes told me that I needed to let him go. My eyes watched his back long after he disappeared into the rain.

_**Fake...**_ My emotions are fake. My body is fake. Everything about me is fake. I am fake. He isn't fake. My memories of him aren't fake. Our love wasn't fake. Why can't him leaving be fake?

_**Gay... **_Gay means happy. I can't be gay. Gay means homosexual. I am considered gay. Gay means ridiculous. It is gay for me to think I am any one of the deffinitions due to the fact that I am nothing. Gay means happy, I cannot feel to be happy. Gay means homosexual, I cannot love to be homosexual.

_**Hips... **_My hips are very defined. His hips were pettite. My hips are boney. His hips were sexy. I (for lack of a better word) loved how his hips swayed back and forth.

_**Ice-cream... **_He loved ice-cream. He smiled at me when we had ice-cream. Ice-cream was our special thing. I can no longer eat ice-cream. Ice-cream reminds me of him.

_**Jump...**_ Sometimes I want to jump off the clock tower. If I jump, it wouldn't be any different. If I jump, I would just hit the ground. If I jump, I would fade into darkness. If I jump, I would fall into a different kind of darkness. If I jump, I would fall from the other darkness.

_**Karma... **_When has karma ever been part of anything. Karma can only happen to real beings. If karma happened to me, he wouldn't have left. If karma happened to me, he would've came back with me. If karam happened to me, I would've faded a while ago.

_**Laugh... **_He used to laugh. I used to laugh with him. I haven't laughed since he left. Demyx's laugh isn't the same. Nobodys shouldn't laugh anyways.

_**Magic...**_ Magic isn't real (this is really competing with my Harry Potter obsession). Magic is as real as me. If magic were real, I would be too.

_**Nothing... **_I am nothing.

_**Ocean... **_He reminded me of an ocean. Like the ocean, he was free. Like the ocean, he was full of life. Like the ocean, he was full of movement. Unlike the ocean, I am bound to memories.

_**Pain... **_There is a pain in my chest. The pain has been there since he left. The pain won't stop. The pain magnified when I saw him. The pain must be a memory. The pain can't be real. The pain has to be. The pain is my only reminder. The pain helps me remember him. With this pain, I wwill never forget.

_**Quest... **_Roxas didn't like quests. I don't like quests to get him back. Those quests hurt.

_**Rage... **_I cannot feel rage. Rage is an emotion, I have none. Is the bubling of hot liquid throughout my body the memory of rage. He showed fellings of rage. He was always full of rage. He didn't have any rage when I asked him to stay. He never showed rage to me.

_**Scared... **_He was often scared. He would wake in the night, scared of his dreams. I wish I had dreams that scared me. I can't be scared of dreams for I cannot have them.

_**Tell... **_What could I tell? I could not tell the difference in memories of emotions. I could not tell the difference from one castle to another. I could not tell the difference of the Nobodys. I could tell that he was different. I could tell that he wasn't shakeled by the chains of being nothing. I could tell the day I first saw him that he would change my non-excistence. I could tell that made it all worth it. I could tell the dya he left would be the worst day I had ever expeirenced.

_**Unhappy... **_I cannot be unhappy. I only feel the memory of being unhappy. When I was with him, the memory of being unhappy never occured to me.

_**Vacant... **_I thought my chest was vacant before. I thought being vacant was the worst thing that could happen. I would take being vacant anytime compared to how it is now.

_**Wake... **_I wake at nights. I haven't gone a entire night with waking since he left. It hurts to remain in wake. Why must I wake at night? When I'm not awake, the pain stops. I see him every moment I don't wake.

_**Exile... **_I spend a lot of time in exile. Without him I am exile. I prefer to be in exile. When I am in exile, no-one can see me pretend to have feelings.

_**Yell... **_I yell for what I want. I yell for what I need. I yell for what I miss. I yell for him. Even if I yell, he never comes. Will I ever stop yelling for the reason to continue my non-existence to return?

_**Zen... **_I don't know what zen is. I don't even remember zen.

_** I am aware that Exile starts with e not x. Well this iis a promt that I got. My friend explained that she couldn't find a word but exile kind of started with an x. I also feel like the end isn't quite as good, so I added another word. Oh this one might make you cry.**_

_** Remember... **_Why can't he remember? Why can't he remember the only thing that mattered to me? Why can't he remember how much I loved him? Why can't he remember all those perfect nights he spent in my arms? Why can't he remember the things I told him when he left? Why can't he remember the way I begged him to stay? Why can't he remember all those pop-sicles? Why can't he remember all the times we did things that lovers did? Why can't he remember the heat that I gave him when he was cold? Why can't he remember the tears that fell down my cheeks as he turned his back and left me forever? Why can't he remember the way he told me that he would see me again in time? Why can't he remember the way I didn't follow him when I should've? Why can't he remember any of the fights we ever had? Why can't he remember anything? Why can't he remember that I would die inside if he left me? Why can't remember that he left me in the first place? Why can't he remember that he was the only thing that told me I was more then an empty shell? Why can't he remember that the reason I don't have a heart is because he took it?


End file.
